Spoof Text

http://www.sekolahoke.com/2012/10/contoh-teks-spoof-singkat.html

“The Brain Bank”

The Brain Bank It seems there was a woman who received some bad news. Her husband had been in an automobile accident and was brain dead. The doctor told her some good news, though. They had perfected their brain transplant technique and that she was lucky there were three fresh brains in the brain bank from which to choose. A large explosion had killed a firefighter, a captain and a chief. Having insurance, she requested the cost for each of the brains. The firefighter’s brain was $10,000, the captain’s brain was $50,000 and the chief was a MILLION DOLLARS! Curious, she asked why the chief’s brain was so much more expensive. The reply.... you see the chief’s brain has never been used!

http://www.sekolahoke.com/2011/01/spoof-text-brain-bank.html

"Private Conversation"

Last week I went to the theatre. I had a very good seat. The play was very interesting.I did not enjoy it. A young man and a young woman were sitting behind me. They were talking very loudly.I got very angry. I could not hear the actors. I turned around. I looked at the man and the young woman angrily. They did not pay any attention.In the end, I could not bear it. I turned around again. “I could not hear a word” I said angrily.“It’s none of your business” the young man said rudely. “This is a private conversation”

"The Boss And The Trainee"

A Man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee. On his first day he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone, "Get me a coffee quickly!". The voice from the other side responded, "You fool you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?". “No", replied the trainee. "It's the Managing Director of the company, you fool!" The man shouted back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?"."No", replied the Managing Director. "Thats Good!", replied the trainee and put down the phone! 

"Honey What is for Supper?"

An elderly gentleman of 85 feared his wife was getting hard of hearing. So one day he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. The Doctor made an appointment for a hearing test in two weeks, and meanwhile there's a simple informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the state of her problem.
“Here's what you do,” said the doctor. “Start out about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he's in the living room. He says to himself, “I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.” Then in a normal tone he asks, “Honey, what's for supper?”
No response.

So the husband moved to the other end of the room, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, “Honey, what's for supper?”
Still no response.
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, “Honey, what's for supper?”
Again he gets no response.
So he walks up to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away. “Honey, what's for supper?”
Again there is no response.
So he walks right up behind her. “Honey, what's for supper?”
“Damn it Earl, for the fifth time, CHICKEN!”

www.joe-ks.com/archives_nov2003/For_Supper.htm

“Bad Dream”

Once there was a couple sleeping. The wife had a bad dream. She woke up. She was scared and cried. Her husband tried to make her comfortable and asked why she cried. Then she replied: “I had a dream that a very rich and handsome man kidnapped me from you.” Hearing his wife answer, the husband said: “It is ok honey, it was just a dream.” Immediately the wife responded loudly: “That is why I’m crying.”

“Vampire Bat”

Vampire Bat A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, face all covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelt the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to piss off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in. “OK, follow me,” he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a huge forest. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats were excitedly around him with their tongues hanging out for blood. “Do you see that large oak tree over there?” he asked. “YES, YES, YES!!!!” the bats all screamed in a frenzy. “Good!” said the first bat, “Because I didn’t.”

http://www.sekolahoke.com/2011/01/spoof-text-vampire-bat.html

"The Perfect Husband"

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's
only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007
models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$80,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too." 
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know whose phone is???!!!"

www.cleanjoke.com/humor/The-Perfect-Husband.html

"It’s Time to Go to School!"

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!" 

"The Zoo Job"

One day a clown was visiting the zoo and attempted to earn some money by making a street performance. He acted and mimed perfectly some animal acts. As soon as he started to drive a crowd, a zoo keeper grabbed him and dragged him into his office. The zoo keeper explained to the clown that the zoo's most popular gorilla had died suddenly and the keeper was fear that attendance at the zoo would fall off. So he offered the clown a job to dress up as the gorilla until the zoo could get another one. The clown accepted this great opportunity.
So the next morning the clown put on the gorilla suit and entered the cage before the crowd came. He felt that it was a great job. He could sleep all he wanted, played and made fun of people and he drove bigger crowds than he ever did as a clown. He pretended the gorilla successfully.
However, eventually the crowds were tired of him for just swinging on tires. He began to notice that the people were paying more attention to the lion in the next cage. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he decided to make a spectacular performance. He climbed to the top of his cage, crawled across a partition, and dangled from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this made the lion furious, but the crowd people loved it.
At the end of the day the zoo keeper came and gave him a raise for being such a good attraction. Well, this went on for some time, he kept taunting the lion, the audience crowd grew a larger, and his salary kept going up. Then one terrible day happened. When he was dangling over the furious lion, he slipped and fell into the lion cage. The clown was really in big terrible situation. He was terrified.
Sooner the lion gathered itself and prepared to pounce. The clown was so scared. He could do nothing and he began to run round and round the cage with the lion close and closer behind. Finally, the lion could catch him. The clown started screaming and yelling, "Help me, help me!", but the lion was quick and pounces. The clown soon found himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and suddenly he heard a voice from the lion’s mouth;"Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?".

“We Don't Subscribe to Any Newspaper”

 Mike was a university student. He studies history. At the end of the year, his history professor failed him in his examinations and he was told to leave the university. The next day, Jack's father went to see the proffessor. He urged the professor to let Jack continue his studies the following year. "He's a good boy," said Jack's father, "and if you give him a chance this time, I'm sure he will improve a lot next year." "No, no! That's quite impossible!" replied the professor, "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon died, and he could not answer it." "Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack's father, "you see, we don't subscribe to any newspapers in our house, so none of us even knew that Napoleon was ill." 

http://www.sekolahoke.com/2011/05/spoof-text-we-dont-subscribe-to-any.html      

"Goat Jumping into Deep Hole"

Two men were walking through the woods and come across a very big deep hole. "Wow...that looks deep." One replied,"Sure does... toss a few pebbles in there and we will see how deep this hole is." Then they pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait... no noise "Geeez. That is really deep... here.. throw one of these great big rocks down there. Those should make a noise." After that, they pick up a couple football-sized rocks and toss them into the hole and wait... and wait. but no noise they heard.
Wow.. They were really impressed with how deep hole it was. They look at each other in amazement. One gets a determined look on his face and says, "Hey...over here in the weeds, there's a railroad tie. Help me carry it over here. When we toss that sucker in this hole, it's must make some noise."
The two men drag the heavy tie over to the hole and heave it in. But, not a sound comes from the hole. Suddenly, out of the nearby woods, a goat appears, running like the wind. It rushes toward the two men, then right past them, running as fast as its legs will carry it. Suddenly it leaps in the air and into the hole. The goat disappeared into the deep hole.
The two men are astonished with what they've just seen. How could a goat jump into the hole? Then, not long after that, out of the woods comes a farmer. He seemed to seek something and asked to the two men, "Hey two guys... have you seen my goat out here?"
Feeling amazing with what they saw of a goat jumping to the hole, they answer straightly,"You bet we did! Craziest thing I've ever seen! A goat came running like crazy and just jumped into this hole!"
The farmer thought a moment and said, "That could not have been my goat. Because my goat was chained to a railroad tie." Then he left the two men.

“Abu Nawas and the King Aaron”

 The king wanted to test Abu Nawas’ smartness. So he invited Abu Nawas to the palace. “You want me, your Majesty?” greeted Abu Nawas. “Yes, you have fooled me three times and that’s too much. I want you to leave the country. Otherwise you will have to go to jail” said the king. “If that is what you want, I will do what you said” said Abu Nawas sadly. Then “Remember, from tomorrow you may not step on the ground of this country anymore” the king said seriously. Then Abu nawas left the king palace sadly.

The following morning the king ordered his two guards to go to Abu Nawas’ house. The guards were very surprised found Abu Nawas still in his house. He had not left the country yet. Instead leaving the country, Abu Nawas was swimming in small pool in front of his house. “Hey Abu Nawas, why haven’t you left this country yet? The king ordered you not to step on the ground of this country anymore, didn’t he?” said the guards. “Sure he did” answered Abu Nawas calmly. “But look at me! Do I step on the ground of this country? No, I do not step on the ground. I am swimming on the water” continued Abu Nawas.

The guards were not able to argue with Abu Nawas so they left Abu Nawas’ house and went back to the palace. The guards reported what they had seen to the king. The king was curious on Abu Nawas’ excuse not to leave the country. Therefore the king ordered his guard to call Abu Nawas to come to the palace.

Abu Nawas came to the palace on stilts. The king wondered and said “Abu, I will surely punish you because you haven’t done what I have said. You have not left this country”. The King continued “And now, look at you. You walk on stilts like a child. Are you crazy? The king pretended to be furious.

“I remember exactly what you said, Your Majesty” Abu Nawas answered calmly. “This morning I took a bath in the small pool in my house so that I had not to step on the ground. And since yesterday, I have been walking on this stilts. So you see, Your Majesty, I do not step on the ground of this country”. The king was not able to say anything.

"Abu Ali Counts his Donkeys"

One day Abu Ali went to the fair, and bought nine donkeys. He rode home on one of them the rest of the donkeys followed behind.
After a while Abu Ali said to himself, “I must make sure all my donkeys are here.” And he turned round to count them.
“One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Oh! Where’s number nine?” Abu Ali cried
He jumped down from his donkey. He looked behind the rocks and behind the trees. But there was no donkey to be seen.
“I’ll count them again,” Abu Ali said. “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. Oh, he must have come back.”
So Abu Ali climbed back on to the donkey and trotted away.
After a while he counted his donkeys again. He counted only eight! Once more he looked behind the rocks and behind the trees. But there was no donkey to be seen.
“I will count again,” he said, and this time there were nine.
Just then Abu Ali saw his friend Musa walking along the road. “Musa,” he called. “Help me to count my donkeys. I keep losing one. When I stop to count I have only eight, but when I get down looking for the ninth, there he is again!”
“Well, I can see ten donkeys, Abu Ali,” laughed Musa. “And the tenth donkey’s name is Abu Ali”

 "Loving Money Too Much"

There was a man who liked money very much. He worked all of his life and wanted to save all of his money for his own future. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything.
Even, just before he died, he said to his wife; "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife." So he asked his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.
Well, one day, he really died. Then he was stretched out in the casket. The wife was sitting there in black clothes next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!"
She had a box in her hands. She came over with the box and placed it in the casket. After that the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away. Not long after that, her friend said, "I hope you were not crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."
The wife turned to her friend and replied; "Yes, because I have promised." Then she continued; "I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him." Feeling shocked, her friend said; "You mean that you have put every cent of his money in the casket with him?" Then the wife answered; "Surely I did. I got it all together, put all the money into my account and I just wrote him a check."

www.onlyfunnystories.com

“That Phone is Off”

 Soon after he left college, Dave found one of his uncles who was very rich and had no children of his own died and left him a lot of money, so he decided to set up his own real estate agency.

Dave found a nice office. He bought some new furniture and moved in. he had only been there for e few hours when he heard someone coming toward the door of his office.

“It must be my first customer” Dave thought. He quickly picked up the telephone and pretended to be very busy answering an important call from someone in New York who wanted to buy a big and expensive house in the country.

The man knocked at the door while this was going on. He came in and waited politely for Dave to finish his conversation on the phone. Then the man said to Dave; “I am from the telephone company and I was sent here to connect your telephone”